In September, I turned 24 and I realized that things I had always desired no longer matter. I dedicated too much effort in trying to find out why I failed in the past and had forgotten to try to make things better for myself.
I have already accepted that I will never be the person that I wanted to be. But instead, I will try my best to be the ordinary person that I am right now.
I will take small steps to make my life worth something. Perhaps I can start with regaining my passion in art again. There's no support nor understanding that I can count on from anyone, but I believe that as long as I just hold on tight during the time period of pure suffering and disapproval, I will get there one day.
After a full year of pushing back and talking, I finally took an important exam this past week. After last year's failure, it took me a full year to overcome my fear. Whatever the outcome may be, I am quite proud of myself.
Sometimes I do wish that my situation can be a little better than this. But I'm trying so hard, I think I deserve a trophy! Now that two of my year long goals have been achieved, I'm on for my next ones, hopefully by the end of 2012, all of my new year resolutions will be accomplished!
Now my next goal is to get rid of all of these ridiculous physical aches and emotional baggages that I'm having. A vacation sounds like a good plan, now the question is, where?
